You wake up one morning and find yourself on a circus train. What animal is your bunk mate?The monkeys. And they keep eyeing my hair like they'd like to go through it to check for bugs, which quite frankly I find insulting. Keep your fingers to yourselves, monkeys, my hair is perfectly clean.
It looks like you’re stuck on the train until they get to their next stop. Luckily, you still have your favorite book which you were reading when you fell asleep! What book is it?
A Circus Lover's Guide to Taming Elephants, Avoiding Monkeys, and Walking the Tightrope of the Human Heart
Or rather, it'd probably be Gilead by Marilynne Robinson. At least until someone writes the above book.
It is time for lunch and all of the circus performers sit according to their act. Who do you decide to sit with?
The clowns are all packed into the mini-car next door, so they're out. The tightrope walkers make me dizzy just looking at them. As a mom to two small children, I feel the tightest kinship with the lion tamers, and so we sit and trade horror stories and scars.
They are curious about your new book! Pitch it to them, but don’t forget to appeal to your audience!
Fangs, fur, and fey! Evie must tame the wild paranormals and avoid any number of grisly deaths to save the special things left in the world. A show--err--book unlike any other!
After a great meal with the lion tamers you stumble back toward your car (circus performers drink a little more than you are used to) to find the circus gypsy waiting for you. She tells you your fortune. What is your future?
"You will be mistaken for a child and passed over in grocery lines. I see very high heels in your future..."
Which of course is wrong, as I prefer flip flops and awkward encounters when people realize I'm not a pre-teen, lack of height notwithstanding. So I don't tip her, and she glares at me.
After you share some circus moonshine with her, she agrees to grant you one wish. What do you wish for?
That my kids to continue growing up happy and healthy, at which point she grumbles that this was the most boring wish ever, and realizes the moonshine was non-alcoholic, as I don't drink. I'm pretty sure she curses me, but I figure any gypsy who can't tell she isn't drunk isn't likely to be commanding powerful curses.
Although I do seem to be growing a beard, which is new.
You get into town and are getting ready to leave. Unfortunately, your flight is delayed. Your new friends convince you to showcase your special talent in tonight's show. What do you perform for the circus audience?
Dazzling feats of sarcasm. Really, it's stunning. And, to top it all off, a spelling bee!
You finally make it home. Who is waiting at the airport for you?
My husband, who is startled by my new facial hair, but happy to see me nonetheless, and my two monkey children, who never look for bugs in my hair.
Kiersten is the author of Paranormalcy which comes out this fall! Also, go follow her blog she is even more entertaining there!
No comments:
Post a Comment